Our definition of self-esteem is: not something anyone can give anyone else, it is the greatest gift one gives himself.  Its respect, which can only be earned, and the feeling of effectiveness, which can only be earned.  You can't fool yourself, unless you consider yourself a fool.  Which means you don't have any self-esteem.  Gain it, grow it by acting in accordance with respectful goals and by respectful means.  Lose it by intentional compromise.